“Jasper and J.B. Together Again” – Kingsman/James Bond

Hello, this past April, I participated in another Rough Trade challenge. It was about second chances. The story is about Sterling and Eggsy are brothers but Sterling gets in trouble with the law one too many times in his teenage years. During one of the arrests, their mother disowns Sterling and Eggsy doesn’t hear from him for a while. In the mean time, their mother marries Dean, who emotionally blackmails Eggsy to help him with his criminal ring, until things happen. Eventually, Eggsy is recruited into the Kingsman as a handler and when they are working on a case, Eggsy hears from his brother again but this time, his brother goes by the name of Q.

(Yes, this story is a Kingsman/Bond crossover fic)

Main pairings: Eggsy Unwin/Harry Hart, Q/James Bond (maybe Alec too)

Warnings: Adult emotionally blackmailing a child, canon level of violence and general blackmail, bad technology/hacking speak/skillz, humor, death of OC characters (mostly for plot and both movies do have a certain number of body counts), messed up canon timeline for both bond and kingsman movies

Rating: Eventually NC-17 but for the most part, it will probably be PG-13/R

The lovely featured image was done by Chestnut Nola, who is a HUGE fan of Bond/Kingsman. I LOVE this picture!

Below is the chapters that I posted to Rough Trade and a little bit that I never posted. It is WIP and I do not know when it will be finished (my mused has been extremely finicky.)

Enjoy!

Sixteen years ago

 

“J.B., where are you hiding? Jasper will find you.” Sterling shouted before trying to find his younger brother, who was pretending to be a pug dog by the name of J.B. Depending on the day, J.B. stood for many different names from Jack Bower to Jasper’s Best mate. Sterling could usually tell what mood his brother is in depending on what Eggsy told Sterling what his name stood for. When they were pretending, Sterling pretended he was a black cat that went by the name of Jasper. Of course, not like typical animals, they could talk to each other. Sterling liked to indulge with his brother, especially since their father recently signed up for another reserve contract with the Marines and his family was getting tired of their father never being around but they have been creating their own family. Their mother, Michelle, has her group of other reserve mothers who she socializes with and Sterling has taken upon himself to help raise Eggsy. At times, Sterling has noticed how Michelle has pulled away from Eggsy at times but Sterling knows that it is partially due to Eggsy’s looks. Eggsy looks the most like their father, Lee Unwin.

Sterling kept pretending that he didn’t see Eggsy’s legs poking out of the cabinet in the kitchen by looking very high and low. “Jasper does not like J.B. hiding on him. Oh where can he be?”

After about ten minutes more of pretending not to see Eggsy, Sterling pulls open the cabinet door and acts surprised as finding J.B. there.

After the squealing of died down, Sterling commented, “Would J.B. like a treat before having quiet time in your room?”

“Peanut butter cookies?”

“Yes. Why don’t you come out so you can eat them over the counter?”

“Ok.” Eggsy crawls out of the cabinet and smiles  up at his brother.

“Here you go. You can have one cookie before going and read or play with your Legos. We don’t want J.B. to be all growly later on at dinner.” Sterling lightly pokes Eggsy lightly in his stomach, which causes Eggsy to giggle.

“Yes, Jasper.” After a few minutes of silence, Eggsy mutters, “Will you always be here? You won’t go away like Dad?”

“Yes. I will always be there with you. It may just be in your heart but I will always be near.”

“Yeah!” Eggsy screamed before hugging tightly to his brother.

Once Eggsy was finished with his cookie, he gave Sterling another hug before whispering, “J.B. and Jasper together forever.” Afterwards, Eggsy jumped down from the counter and went to his room to have quiet time.

 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

 

Six Years ago

 

“Come on, Eggsy, please? Will you just change my grade in the perl programming class? You know my father will whoop my ass if he sees that grade.” Jamal asked his good friend, Eggsy, who has learned how to hack the various computers and networks without being caught.

“What do I get as payment?”

“My undying gratitude and a favor that you can cash in and I won’t ask any questions about it.”

“Alright, I’ll do it tonight. I won’t give you top marks because that would seem too suspicious but I will make sure that you aren’t failing. Alright?”

“Thank you, Eggsy.”

After school, Eggsy and Jamal head over to Eggsy’s apartment. Eggsy doesn’t really like being home, especially since Dean has become Michelle’s boyfriend but it is where his equipment is, including his favorite laptop that he made upgrades too to enable his hacking.

After they grabbed a quick snack from the kitchen, they headed to Eggsy’s room so Eggsy can change the grade for Jamal. After finishing their homework but before dinner, Jamal decides to head home.

As Eggsy goes to open the front door, Jamal says, “Thanks again for changing my grade. You totally saved my arse.”

“I’m always saving your arse. What will you do without me?”

“Be stuck somewhere in the gutter?”

“G’dnight Jamal.”

“Night, Eggsy.” Jamal says before turning away and walking down the sidewalk. After a minute or so, Eggsy closes the door and when he does, he turns into Dean’s body.

“Eggsy, since when can you hack the school servers?”

“Hack? What are you talking about?”

“I heard what Jamal said. Since when have you been able to do it. Don’t lie to me, boy.”

“For about a year. I am going to school that specializes in technology.”

“Don’t be smart with me. I can easily tell your school about how you changed a grade on Jamal’s transcript. If I did, then you would end up in jail. Do you want to end up in jail?”

“No.”

“Then you will listen to me and not give me lip. If you do not end up following my orders, then you can be sure that I will call your school to tell them about it. I will also make sure that your mother knows what a fucking looser her only son is.”

About three years previously, the police showed up on their doorstep looking for his older brother, Sterling. When their mother answered the door and found out that the police were looking for Sterling again, she told Sterling that he wasn’t part of their family anymore and to never contact them again. He took her words to heart because Eggsy hadn’t heard from Sterling until recently. Three months ago,  Eggsy received an e-mail from Jasperthecat@gmail.com with the following message:

 

If you ever need any help, call this number and say the following phrase: “Jasper and J.B. together again.”. Jasper will help J.B. in any way.

 

When Eggsy received the e-mail, he was very close to automatically deleting it on sight because why had hi s brother all of sudden wanted to contact him. It is not for the first time that Eggsy wondered where Sterling was and if he was out of prison by now for good behavior.

Knowing that he didn’t have any other option, Eggsy agreed to Dean’s term, knowing that it will only last for at most another year before he is done with his education. Afterwards, he can leave by joining the marines, like his father. Eggsy hoped that he wouldn’t come back in a box from some marine mission, like his father had about 6 years ago.

After Dean finished ranting and talking about grand plans, Eggsy left and returned to his room. He put on his headphones and turned up the music. Ever since Michelle hinted that she would like to have more children, Dean had become a bit more demanding and insisting on him taking the place of his father. Eggsy didn’t really know his father due to his time in the marines but he would have liked to think that he was better than a small crook who treated women like shit. Eggsy noticed that his mother would occasionally have some bruises on her face or act really cautious around him. Unfortunately, Eggsy also knew that his mother would never leave Dean for the fear of Eggsy not having a good male authority figure in his life.

After listening to his music, he was able to fall asleep for the night. He knew that he signed a verbal contract with the devil but he hoped that he could rely on Jasper, if he ever did truly need him.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

 

For the past two years, Eggsy worked for Dean. It started off with small side projects or help with scoping out a certain house in one of those upper posh neighborhoods. Soon, Dean recruited Jamal and Ryan to help out with the stealing and the stakeouts. Ryan and Jamal always loved how much money they would make for the simple work that they did. When Dean realized how useful Eggsy’s hacking could be in terms of bypassing the security systems or finding pertinent information on the internet, Eggsy started to stay behind and work behind the scenes. In order to cover his tracks better, he created an identity of “Morpheus”, after the kickass character from The Matrix.

Morpheus soon gained a strong presence on the internet, especially in the black market world. Morpheus was greatly feared and respected. Many other hackers tried to accomplish what he had done and no one was able to accomplish it.

When Eggsy was 19, he threatened to join the marines, like his father but Dean threatened the life of his mother if he did so. Eggsy thought about how he could cause an accident for Dean but then he knew that his mother would be pissed off at him, especially if she knew the truth. For now, he just kept his face low and did as Dean asked.

After few years of working for Dean, Jamal and Ryan started to take on some side jobs from some of the local mobsters, who worked under Dean. Jamal and Ryan still remained friends with Eggsy but they didn’t hang out quite as often.

 

-=-=-=-==-======-=-==-==-==-=-=-==–=–=-==

When Eggsy was 22, his mother had a baby girl. Daisy was the world to his mom and to himself. He tried to do everything he could to keep both of them safe from Dean and his temper and his criminal background.

A knock on the door was answered by his mom, Michelle, with his sister, Daisy, in her arms. At the door was one gentleman dressed in a nice, posh suit and a copper.

“Yes, Can I help you?” Michelle asked.

“I am looking for Mr. Gary Unwin. Is he home?” the man in the suit asked.

“What is this about?” Michelle wanted to know.

“We have a few questions for him. Is he home?” the man in the suit further stated.

“Yes, he is.” Turning away from the men at the door, she said “Eggsy, someone is here to see you.”

Since Eggsy was in the family room, he heard most of the conversation and had a vague feeling what this is about. He could not run. If he did run, then it would become worse for him and probably his family. He breathed in deeply and counted to ten before answering. “I’ll be right there.”

As he walked to the door, he thought that the gentleman in the suit was an inspector but upon further analysis, he was figuring that the man was with a different agency. Maybe MI-5? MI-5 was the organization that investigated internal threats within UK.

“Would it be alright for me to come in and talk with you?”

“Sure. We can talk in the living room.”

Eggsy further opened the door and allowed the posh suited man into their living room. Michelle went into Daisy’s room to give the appearance of privacy in the apartment and to keep Daisy occupied.

“Am I under arrest? If I am, you forgot to say the usual spiel.”

“Not at the moment. We just need some answers to a few questions. For instance, do you know a Jamal Williams or Ryan Emmett?”

“Yah. They are my best mates and have been since we were teens.”

“We are looking for them. They have been stealing from some of the folks in Saville Row area. One of those robberies became violent two nights ago. A person was killed.”

“Fuck. I haven’t heard from them in a few weeks. Lately, I’ve been busy with helping my mom with taking care of Daisy.”

“You think we wouldn’t believe you don’t keep in closer contact with two of your best mates, as you call them?”

“It is not unusual for us to have some quiet time every once in a while. We all have been quite busy lately.”

“We checked Jamal’s cell records and we noticed that he texted your phone number twice in the past week.”

“He did text me but it was just videos that he found funny on Youtube. You know those silly kitten videos?”

“You sure?”

“Yeh. He has gotten quite addicted to those videos and he likes to torture, I mean, share them with his friends.”

“Alright. If you do hear from them, please contact me as soon as possible. Here is my card.”

Eggsy takes the card from the guy and was surprised to see that he was an Inspector, not someone from MI-5. Eggsy tends to be better with his reading of people.

The posh man leaves Eggsy, who remained sitting on the couch. Eggsy knew that it was only a matter of time before Dean or one of the lower level mobsters would get Ryan and Jamal in trouble. Eggsy was lucky enough that his work with Dean’s organization of crime was with hacking so very few people were aware of his role. Majority of the people these days referred to him as Morpheus.

Michelle comes into the living room and bombards him with questions about what happened. He tries to answer them to the best of his knowledge. After he finishes his talk with his mother, he enters into his bedroom and boots up his laptop. He decides to further analysis the cat videos that Jamal had recently sent him. Due to the nature of their business, they learned to send encrypted notes to each other using the cat videos as a cover up. Majority of people who would view the videos would think that it was just an ordinary cat video. For Eggsy and Jamal, they would know to look for the hidden message between the images. Eggsy sets to the task of figuring out the message in the videos. It isn’t until the sun rises in the morning that he realizes that he was up for the entire night.

The next night, he was able to figure out the message that was subtly inserted into the cat videos. It read:
“Help. Patrice gone crazy. If end up dead, take care of family.”

Eggsy knew that some of the local talent was trying to gain control of the criminal underworld that Dean has created over the years. Everyone kept trying to take Dean’s role but Dean would find someway to make sure that he keeps his role as the top boss. Patrice is just the latest in the long stream of underlings trying to vie for Dean’s position. Eggsy will keep an eye on Patrice. Eggsy always had a bad feeling about Patrice and Jamal’s latest message just further confirms his suspicions.

 

The next week, Eggsy does some more research on Patrice and finds out that prior to working for Dean, Patrice was a hired mercenary who performed some redacted missions. Wanting to protect his family and desperate for information, Eggsy decided to put his hacking skills to use and hack the MI-5 and MI-6 servers, since some of Patrice missions were in the UK and abroad. Eggsy hoped that he would be able to hack the servers without severe repercussions.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-==

At the knock on his door, Q looked up from his laptop to see his second in command, R, at his door.

“There better be a zombie apocalypse. I would also accept Alec becoming a pyromaniac.”

“It is neither, Sir. However, someone is trying to hack into our servers. I tried to stall the hacker but he is really good.”

“I’ll take care of it, R. Thank you. I will some more tea.”

“I’ll be right back with it.”

R left Q’s office to retrieve his bosses’ tea in his mug with the Q scramble tile. A few minutes later, R returns with tea and some biscuits in his hand. R knows that he should have included an actual meal with this snack but R didn’t want to take too much time so he grabbed some of the biscuits from the break room.

Without saying anything, Q held out his hand to grab the mug of tea blindly. Q took a distracted sip of his tea before placing his mug down by the keyboard. After swallowing, Q started to swear in Russian and then gave an even more determined look at his monitor. R retreated fast back to the Q branch to make sure that the other minions are behaving themselves.

After two hours of working hard at his computer, Q was able to stop the hacking attempt. Once he was done, he stretched his arms to hear his arms and side crack in a good way. Q knows that he needs to gather his intel and let M know about this intrusion.

Before he left the Q branch, Q grabbed another mug of tea and some more biscuits before making his way to M’s office. When he enters the outer office of M’s office, Eve Monepenny is at her desk, typing away on her computer.

“Hi Q. What’s going on?”

“I need to see M. It is urgent.”

“He can see you once he finishes up with his phone call with the Prime Minister. How are things in the Q branch going?”

“No one has exploded any part of the branch in over 3 weeks. I’m thinking of bringing in a cake to celebrate it. If I do that, then they might take it as permission to do it again. We are still trying to pay for the renovations.”

“Just get M to pay for it.”

“He would be but then I would need to sacrifice something else in my budget. I can’t. Too many of my babies would be hurt by it.”

“Q, I say this with the utmost respect, where is Bond? Is he on assignment again?”

“Yes, he is in Istanbul.”

“How long have you been in the Q branch? Are the minions not feeding and watering you?”

“I take offense to that. I’m not some dog.”

“No, you are a cat. Same things apply.”

“Yes, R is great about making sure I have tea and biscuits.”

“You can’t survive on that along. You know better.”

“Yes, yes. Anyway, is M available now?”

Eve looked at her phone to see that M is no longer on his phone. She picks up her phone to say, “Q is here to see you on an urgent matter.” After a brief pause, “Yes, Sir.”

“You can go in and see him. Please promise me that you will go home and eat a good meal after this and then crash for a while.”

“Thank you, Eve.” Q says before heading into M’s office.

Once inside and the door is closed, Q hands over his tablet to M and starts to explain the situation.

“Sir, about 3 hours ago, a hacker by the name of Morpheus hacked into our servers. Apparently, he was after information on Patrice, who is a hired mercenary that Bond is currently tracking down in Istanbul.”

“Do you think Morpheus is working with Patrice?”

“If Morpheus was, then he would not just be looking for information on Patrice. The hacker would have been trying to find out our secrets.”

“True. Do you know the real identity of Morpheus?”

“Yes.”

“Morpheus should be arrested and put in prison for many years to come. The hacker did hack a government server.”

“Yes, he did but I have another idea. I know it was the previous M but you were brought up to speed on my history. When I was 17, I hacked into the servers at the prime minister’s office. Instead of being put into prison, I was offered a job here at MI-6. Many years later, I am now even in charge of my own division. I do believe if we do a similar thing with Morpheus, then he will become just like me.”

“Who is Morpheus to you that you would be willing to risk so much for him?”

“My brother.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I was able to track his IP address. Even though my family never wanted anything to do with me, I’ve been keeping a distant eye on them.”

“Alright. If he comes here, wouldn’t he know what you did for him?”

“I was thinking of asking of asking Merlin for a favor.”

“Would he go for it?”

“Since Merlin has tried many times over the years to lure me away from MI-6, I think he would be willing to help me with this favor. Besides, Merlin’s wanted a more of a challenge from one of his minions. Apparently, his minions have become complacent and just do their job. I think my brother could provide a certain twist to his department. I know his skills would be greatly utilized by Kingsmen.”

“You will take responsibility for him?”

“Yes.”

“Try to contact Merlin and set things up. He will need to at least appear to be arrested to make sure no one goes looking for him.”

“I understand. Thank you, sir.”

Q takes back his tablet and goes back to the Q branch to set-up a time to talk with Merlin at Kingsmen’s Britain branch.

-0-0-0-00-0-0-0-0-00-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The next day, Merlin agreed to an encrypted Skype conference with Q. Before the meeting began, Q made sure that he had a full mug of tea nearby and a plate full of biscuits. He knows how talkative Merlin can be at times.

At the right time, Q begins the process of connecting his computer to Merlin. When the computers connect, a video screen appears. A bald man with black rimmed glasses appears in the screen.

“Good afternoon, Merlin. How are the knights?”

“Good afternoon, Q. Still having issues with Chaos Twins?”

Most of the intelligence community had gotten used to calling James Bond and Alec Trevelyan, also known as, 007 and 006. When the two agents work together, no person or area are safe. Since the two have known each other since their high school years, they are tighter than two blood brothers.

“They keep life interesting, as usual. At the moment, they are on separate missions so they shouldn’t cause too much chaos in the world at the moment.”

“Good to know. If something crazy does appear on the radar, I’ll just assume that they met up together somewhere, off the books, and decided to unleash their chaos. I assume you didn’t want to call me to talk about them.”

“Not really. I have a favor to ask of you.”

“If it is to babysit the Chaos twins, then no. Depending on any other option, I might be willing to consider it.”

“It has nothing to do with 007 or 006. In fact, it is a personal favor.”

“I’m intrigued. Go on.”

“I know that you weren’t happy that I went with MI-6, instead of Kingsmen, back in the day. What if I told you that I know someone who is just as good as me?”

“I would be interested but they would need to pass security clearance.”

“Well, they would as well as I did back in the day. Maybe. The person has gotten himself in a bit of trouble and was able to hack MI-6 servers the other day.”

“Any hacker worth their skills can hack MI-6 server.”

“To be able to do it and not alert us to it until after 30 minutes of being in the system?”

“Ok. Shows more promise than initially thought of. Would the person be willing to become an agent?”

“I was thinking of a handler, especially since you can further groom his hacking skills.”

“What is this person to you?”

“It’s my younger brother, Eggsy. His step father, Dean, has been using Eggsy’s skills to help his criminal empire in the London area.”

“So he has a criminal background too?”

“Yes. I think he would rather be helping the good, instead of being blackmailed to help someone who he despises.”

“You know that for sure.”

“No, since I haven’t talked to him over 10 years but I would like to think that the little boy that I knew and admired hasn’t changed too much on the inside.”

“When would we need to tell you our response?”

“Within 72 hours. MI-6 is pulling our resources and paperwork together before we arrest Dean Martin and Eggsy Unwin.”

“Will do. Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention.”

“Your welcome. I do believe he will bring the challenge and spitfire that your department has been lacking for years. Oh, I do have one requirement.”

“Which is?”

“You don’t tell Eggsy that I am his brother nor do you tell him that I was one who set it up.”

“Duly noted. Thank you, Q.”

“Bye, Merlin.”

After closing out the video screen, Q went back to his work, feeling good that his brother might have another chance in the world and put his skills to excellent use. Q just hopes that Eggsy uses this second chance to his advantage, even though Eggsy might need to disappear from his mother and sister for a while.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Unfortunately, life rarely went the way that you thought it would go.

When Eggsy was returning back to his apartment that he was sharing with his mum and Daisy, as he was trying to open the door but his hands were full with bags from grocery shopping, a smartly dressed man approached him.

“Are you Gary Unwin?”

“Who’s asking?”

“You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.” The inspector said while handcuffing Eggsy.

Eggsy quickly knocks on the door and drops the bags of food on the porch. Eggsy knew that his luck had run out after hacking the MI-5 and MI-6 servers, looking for information about Patrice.

As the inspector was turning Eggsy to go down the steps that led up to the apartment, the  door opened and Michelle screamed, “I knew you were just like your good for nothing fucking brother. You no longer belong to me. Don’t ever show up on my doorstep again. You are dead to me.” After her rant, she opened the door further and quickly grabbed the bags to take the food inside.

Eggsy just shook his head and followed the subtle hints the inspector gave him to his car. On the ride to the station, Eggsy contemplated whether or not he was going to try to get Sterling to help him.

–0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0—00-0-0-0-0

Shit. Shit. Shit. Why the fuck would MI-5 fuck this up so badly?

Q knew that he needed to quickly call Merlin to see what the Kingsman wanted to do in regards to Eggsy before he sicced Alec and James on MI-5. It was the least that Q could do to pay them in kindness.

Taking a few sips of his tea before using his encrypted Skype to call Merlin.

“Q. What can I do for you?”

“Have you come up with your decision about Eggsy?”

“Not yet. We still have another 24 hours before we need to decide.”

“No, you don’t. You can thank the fuckers over at MI-5. Eggsy has been taken into custody.”

“I’ll contact Arthur and see what he says.”

“Thank you. If you do agree to go with it, I would advise you sending Galahad to pick up Eggsy at the building.”

“Any other demands?”

“Nope. Just let me know within the next two hours. If I don’t hear anything, I will assume that you don’t want him.”

“Bye Q.”

The screen to the Skype session went black. Having done his part with moving the Kingsman along on their decision about Eggsy, Q went back to figuring out how to help Bond on his latest assignment. Bond had started to draw some attention from the local talent and Q has been doing his best to distract the local mercenaries so they don’t end up killing Bond. Or Bond going on a killing spree, which would be way too much paperwork to deal with.

Two hours later, Q had his answer from Merlin.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Eggsy is brought into an interrogation room with a table and two metal chairs on either side of the table. He pushed into the chair that is facing the mirror. The officer sits on the other side of the table and opens a file.

“Your name is Gary Unwin. Eggsy to your friends and family. Online, you are known as Morpheus. Mostly likely due to the character from The Matrix.”

“Are you going to ask a question soon?”

“Dean Richardson is your step father. He uses your hacking abilities. I don’t think you are completely willing to do things that you do for him. You do it so he doesn’t harm your mother or your baby sister. Is any of this true?”

“What do you think, guv?”

“I think you are someone who is loyal, willing to do anything to help your family, extremely smart and talented, if your hacking skills are anything to go by. What I don’t get is why you haven’t tried to get Dean jailed so he is out of the picture or frame him for one of the jobs?”

“My mum loves him.”

“You know he’s not good for her. Why keep him around? He’s not good for her.”

“Love is love. You stay by family regardless.”

“But family doesn’t always stand by you. Why do you think you are here?”

“I don’t know.”

“No one will believe that innocent act. You will want to cut it out. It was because you hacked the MI-5 and MI-6 servers, looking for more information on Patrice, who also used to work for your step father. Why go looking for information on Patrice?”

“Shove off.”

“You realize that I could just put you away in jail for the hacking of both of those servers alone?”

“Then why the fuck am I out here instead of in a jail?”

“We were hoping for an exchange of information for a reduced sentence.”

“So it will only be half of my lifetime, instead of it completely?”

“Something like that. We want information on Dean Richardson. Who are his known colleagues? How is the hierarchy set-up? Where will he strike next?”

“You’re shitting me. You are the fucking MI-5 and you are asking me fucking questions that you should know the answers. Well, most of them. Maybe you should do your fucking job for once.”

“We are. We arrested you. So what will it be, boy?”

“Go the fuck to hell! I would like to use my one phone call.”

“You better have a savior or a really good lawyer.” The inspector left before one of the policeman came in with a phone. Eggsy pulled the number from his memory and dialed it.

After two rings, he hears a female voice say, “Customer complaints, how may I help you?”

Clearing his throat, he says “This is Eggsy, I mean Gary Unwin.”

“I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong number.”

“Wait, Jasper and J.B. together again.”

“Your complaint has been duly noted…and we hope that we have not lost a loyal customer.”

Next, Eggsy hears a dial tone. He just hopes that his brother got the message because he could really use the help in getting out of jail and this fucked up, bollocked kerfuffle.

 

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About thothkristen

I love writing slash fiction, especially if it deals with shifters and mythology. I use my Wordpress account for Writings in Progress and my Archive of Our Own Account for when a work is completed and has been betaed.
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